Sri Lanka 5

Ok chaps, been a bit busy over the last week or so as I ve been on tour around the whole of the south and middle of the island and got to see a whole heap of stuff.  

To give a full account would take an age, fill a book and probably bore you stupid, so, I don’t intend to do this, but to give an indication of some of the activities they include a half day safari in both the Yalla national park and again in the adjoining bird sanctuary, a visit to a wood carving centre, a gem museum, a trip through the mountains in an old train, a visit to a tea plantation and factory, a guided tour of a spice garden ( the demonstration park attached to a huge plantation of mainly homeopathic spices and plants), various botanical gardens, a trip to see the biggest Buddha statue on the island     ..........pause for breath......... various museums, two of the great ancient cities of Asia, fantastic beaches, the world famous city of Kandy, including an evening of traditional dance and fire walking, waterfalls, caves, rock monuments  ..... and I have not sat on one single animal since the warning from the World Wildlife Fund, although I did cause a poor bull to pull a cart for a few miles with me on board, and also had a young man canoe me across a lake.

I ve also got a few more chums to demonstrate support for the Bluebirds, sampled a huge range of local cooking, some of which I have also been able to either watch being prepared and some I ve even been lucky enough to join in with, in kitchens ranging from hotels to open fires in mud huts, and helped the local economy by consuming copious quantities of Lion lager at £1 -£1.50 per pint

There is a very strong armed forces presence on the island, a hangover from the 26 year armed struggle that ended very bloodily nearly four years ago, with the government annihilation of the hierarchy of the Tamil Tigers and I have had a couple of encounters with them myself.

 I was threatened with arrest for asking a machine gun toting soldier to pose for a photo, not the done thing! ... and I didn t even ask him to strike the CCFC pose

I enjoyed a night with a battalion of very drunk soldiers who were in our hotel celebrating their return from three months special forces jungle training. Despite the fact that the biggest guy was only about five foot tall, they could probably all have killed me with a banana leaf, but were more intent on having their picture taken with ‘Mr Mike sir’, plying me with local firewater, called Arak, which I would only recommend for cleaning rust off things, and nicking my Marlboro. They sang songs to me, I gave them a verse  of Sospan Fach, and that was it, they wanted me to join them for a another  night out, which I politely declined, even though two of them wanted me to marry their sisters!!

The third encounter started a little more bizarrely. On the way to see Sri Lankas highest waterfall, we ran into a road block and could see, what we thought were, armed police in attendance. We had pulled up behind a tarpaulin covered truck, suddenly we heard gunfire and then first one and then a second rifle barrel poked out of the rear of the truck pointing at me and Edward!!!!!  A huge truck behind us prevented any evasive action and for a few seconds we both wondered if this was going to be a bad day.

 As we sat there agog, an extremely aggressive Sergeant major type chap came to the back of the truck and started unceremoniously yanking  young trainees out of the back of the wagon and throwing them, very roughly, into the culvert on the side of the road in front of us. The two who had taken aim at us met with particularly strong rebuke

 It was a training exercise, (mid afternoon in the middle of the main road !!), we presumed, and judging from the state of the trainees, who I can only liken to a cross between petrified boy scouts and Mr Bean, I hope it was.